1. He does not have a BEER GUT - he has developed a LIQUID STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST - he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
5. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - he is GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. 7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - he develops RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - he has SWINE EMPATHY
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - he is MANOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
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