So, today I got to thinking about the above. Not because I want it, but actually because I DON'T want it.
Mainly, I don't want my children to have it.
Most of you know I did a 6 month stint teaching speech and drama at Southwell School, and while the kids were really lovely, all they knew was money. I'm talking about 8 year olds discussing who's Dad had the better car; who's family was going on the most expensive holiday; which of them had the better mobile phone etc In my day, it was who caught the most ladybirds at lunch time!
A lot of my friends growing up were from quite well off families, which resulted in mummy and daddy buying them, cars, phones, paying for uni and in one case buying a $300,000 apartment in the Auckland CDB. Now, a lot of these people are studying careers that will earn them lots of money in the longrun.
It seems to me, the more you have, then the more you want and all you'll never be satisfied with what you have because there is always something else that you don't have, that you feel you should. And I don't know how someone could really be happy that way.
I didn't grow up rich. My father smoke and drank our money away, so I was always kind of aware that I didn't have what my friends did, but I really didn't mind, because I have an amazing mother who always did everything she could to give me a happy life.
Today, I have my own place, my own stuff, 125 pairs of shoes and I am paying off my 2nd car. I went to uni, got scholarships to help out with fees, have a fab job and my own little business, and I am so happy with that. Mainly because, I worked hard for it and did it all by myself. And I'm pretty sure I appreciate it a lot more than if it had just been given to me.
I have no desire to have a career. Being somewhere five days a week, for eight hours a day for the next 40 odd years is the most depressing thought in the world to me. Life is to be enjoyed and spent with the people you love. Which is why I'm certainly not going to work once I'm married and have children. A sentiment that was set in concrete when I found out that one of the girls I taught at Southwell had been placed in the boarding house because she was a 'distraction' to her mother who worked from home! That was honestly one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever heard in my life.
I really don't understand how people can let their jobs take over their lives. I get that of course in order to live, one must make money somehow, but how much work is too much? How important is it really to be rich?
I have an aquaintance who I would like to spend time with, but can't because of their job. It is a job where they earn quite a bit of money, but it appears that it takes up their entire life.
A couple of times we have managed to get together to do stuff, but they were so exhausted they kept yawning the entire time, which made me feel guilty for taking up time they could be using to rest; and the other time, they had somewhere more important they really had to be, which meant constantly looking at their watch. Quite insulting really when it was their birthday and I was trying to do something nice for them. How can a job that does that to you really be worth it? Now, I know for a fact that this person would quite like a relationship, but how can that work when you have no time? And how can one call oneself "fun", "exciting" and "interesting" when one has a job that completely drains them to the point where they are actually quite boring to spend time with? Sadly, I haven't talked to this person for ages now. They just don't have time. Not even to answer a txt or email. A shame because without such a demanding job, this person really would be "fun", "exciting" and "interesting".
A career? No thank you. I work enough to keep me fed, warm and in a house. I never have anything left over on payday to save, but I don't mind. I'm very happy with my life. I don't have to slog my guts out everyday working for someone else, and I have free time to do what I like in.
Of course, I wouldn't be devestated if I won Lotto! I wouldn't go overboard though. I would pay off debt, buy a pretty little 1920s villa in Ham East, and keep the rest for my kids' uni fees and my retirement. High tech flashy gizmos are of no interest to me. Diamonds however....that might be a different story!
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6 comments:
Although it may sounds strange, coming out of a left-wing, feminist law student such as myself, I agree with a lot of what you say about the downsides of having a career. Working 75 hours a week simply to earn a paycheque, in my mind, is no way to live... especially if someone has a family that they should be spending time with. A lot of the people who I've worked with in the past, both in politics, and at the law firm where I currently work, do nothing but work... and they don't even seem to like their jobs that much. I think for people like that, working becomes a habit, and they get to the point where they're so accustomed to a certain salary, and their bosses expect a certain amount of work in return for that salary, so to cut back would be to let both their bosses, as well as their families (who have become accustomed to such salaries) down. I feel kind of bad for people like that.
That said, I do hope to have a career. I want to work, not for the money, but for the enjoyment of what I do. Not everyone who has a career does their job simply for the money... if my job in the future happens to pay well, great - then it means I can take expensive vacations, buy more shoes, and get season tickets to the ballet. If it doesn't, but I still like my job, I'll learn to live without new shoes every week. Not all career-driven people are money-obsessed workaholics. If I love my job and like the people I work with, spending fifty hours a week doing it isn't such a bad thing, is it? :)
Good on you for knowing what you want and not feeling pressured into having to have a 9 to 5 job. That's something I've slowly come to be at peace with, for myself.
But having said that, I truly admire people who have managed to find and do a job that they are truly passionate about, and money (be it large or small amounts) isn't their motivating factor.
Oh I totally agree with you both about people - such as yourself Jenni - who have top earning careers which they are actually extremely passionate about. That is to be congratulated. It's the people who hate their jobs but love the money that I just don't understand. Life is for living, loving (and shoes!); not working so long and so hard doing something you don't care about and losing friendships, relationships and FUN!
"Living, loving, and shoes" - my three motivations to get out of bed in the morning. lol. In fact, to celebrate the fact that it's Friday, I may have to go buy new shoes today... all the stores are having sales on their almost out of season summer shoes. I can't believe that in a month and a half, I'm going to have to put away all my cute summer shoes and go back to ballet flats and boots =(
Well, quite frankly, I would like a job where I get to meet decent men. I've done the 'single and loving it' thing for waaaaay too long now, and am just OVER IT. Forget the money, gimme the hot dudes.
Hear, hear!
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