Well, tonight was the opening of Annie. It went so well, no mistakes, great audience, I didn't flash the audience like I did last night when my blouse button popped, and yet.....I feel nothing. I accepted a few shows ago that I no longer get nervous....then that the loss of nervousness meant a slight loss of the adrenaline rush you get from a great show.......but now..... Nothing. I'm just on autopilot the whole show. Even the standing ovation we got tonight didn't do it for me!
I mean, this is my life I'm talking about! I'm doing the only thing I've ever wanted to do since I was four and I'm not really enjoying it much anymore.
The cons are starting to outweigh the pros. I'm sick, I'm tired, my house is a mess coz I'm never home, I've missed several shows I wanted to see.......This really bites the big one.
Am not going to give up just yet though. I'm thinking it may just be that I am a company member in another musical and that I need a decent size role in a show that is perhaps more challenging.
I know there are no small parts, only small actors, but that's not how I'm feeling at all. I just want a challenge, something juicy I can really sink my teeth into.
Playbox has another farce coming up, and hopefully I will get a part in that (and not just a non English speaking maid, with four lines. Four lines that are basically the same line repeated four times!)
Time for another Lemsip I think. Cough. Cough. Splutter.
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9 comments:
oh bummer. maybe you should get an agent and try to do film/t.v. work? or bigger productions, say in AK or somewhere?
When I started to feel like that about music, I quit. I don't regret it but you probably would.
What scares you? do that, and then you'll feel better.
Lol I have even less passion about screen! It's always been the live audience that has appealed to me. I'm kinda too scared to quit, because that's all I've ever wanted to do! It's my passion in life (or supposedly is) and if I quit I don't know what I'd do!
The only way I can get nervous before a show and then get the accompanying buzz is if I have to sing solo. However, I cannot sing at auditions so I never get these roles! I am Sarah Brightman in the shower, but for some really annoying reason, I can't sing in front of people! That and being left on stage for 2 minutes by myself while Pip tries to get her stilts on! ;) That has definately been the highlight of my acting career thusfar!
that was just terrifying for us backstage! but very very cool improv on your behalf. ooh, what about doing improv? Also, maybe you could take voice lessons (if you haven't already).
ooh, ooh, ooh. Apparently Sir Ian McKellan is going to be performing King Lear in Auckland in August! Want to go?
ooh ooh ooh! Yes! I hate King Lear as a play, but Ian McKellan! Yay!
Yeah, improv is something I'd love to do. I wouldn't mind starting up a "Whose Line" group or something like "Thank God you're Here". That would be awesome. Can't really afford singing lessons right now with my pretty new car! But it's next on my list for when I'm feeling rich again!
Okay, tickets for King Lear are from $50-$175 each. I will ask some other people if they would like to come with us, but I think we'll need to book in the next few days to get good seats. What price range are you willing to pay?
Hmm...probably only as much as $70. The Shambles might be interested. Yay!
yep, ask em. I've sent an group email to some of me mates. My Mum wants to come too.
Yup, saw that. I've done likewise :)
Yay! Shakespeare!
Well, nice blog chattin with ya, but I'd better go wash last night's makeup off and slather a new lot on!
break a leg kid!
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